Sry I called you an 8
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
