but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
