areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the condom got lost in my hair
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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