I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize