That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize