Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm at about main and main street
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
