Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
