he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
