Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize