***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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