i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
