Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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