3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
this just has baby written all over it
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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