i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
