You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
