like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
