guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize