Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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