i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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