I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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