someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
The air taste purple.
Randomize
