I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
