Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
