how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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