worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
