Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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