I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
