My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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