Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
