I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
