lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
