Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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