I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize