normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize