So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
