It was confusing and full of hummus
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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