look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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