I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
