We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
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