I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize