bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
