WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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