Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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