I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
