i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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