Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
