The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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