your room smells of hookers.
And success
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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