I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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