and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I want to fling myself into the sun
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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