tell your sister to shave her snatch
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize