Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now

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(949): View more from California

Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.

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(408): View more from California

Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain

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(763): View more from Minnesota

I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.

(763): View more from Minnesota

At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night

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