I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
