Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Are we still banned from the library?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Randomize
