on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
