would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
