You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
