so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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