This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Randomize
