No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize