wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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