he puts the penis in happiness.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
