You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
