I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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