Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
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